Every hero has one, and they’re almost exactly what they sound like. They basically exist to make the hero look better, be his confidant, push him (usually by getting into scrapes that the hero has to get them out of), and do odd jobs for the hero. The useless friend is also one of the hero’s weakest points. In contrast with his relationship with the love interest, the hero absolutely cannot do without his useless friend. You can bet your master plan that the hero will drop anything and everything to rescue his friend, which can be exceedingly useful at times. The wide scope of possibilities allows villains to select their preferred use . . . or two. Bait, of course, is an obvious choice, with negotiations a close second. Don’t overlook the useless friend’s own capabilities, though. He usually has something, however small, that makes him helpful, and since the hero often discusses his plans with him, the friend may yield some useful information. Now, here is the most important part of this tip: kill him. No matter what you want to use the useless friend for, make sure you leave yourself time and space to kill him. You won’t need to take the same precautions you’d have for the hero, but make it short and sweet. (Don’t worry, fun is acceptable.) It isn’t particularly important if there’s not much left of him once the job is done, but do make sure that you have a token that the hero will recognize. Present this to the hero any way you like – as a warning, with an apology, sneering cheerfully – and sit back to watch. Unlike with the love interest, where the death flings the hero into a powerful rage, the useless friend’s death will throw him into a stupor. He will blame himself, and he and his army will be incapacitated indefinitely. (Note: it may be difficult to convince the hero that his friend is actually dead. A risky option is to claim the useless one’s death while keeping him for bargaining, etc.) We leave it up to you to finish the hero once and for all. Enjoy!