Category: Spiders Review

Like all of Terry Pratchett’s books, Men at Arms doesn’t go a step too far. It goes sixteen steps too far, falls off the edge of the world, and lands on Great A’Tuin. We were a shade disappointed in this sequel to Guards! Guards!, but as always, Pratchett’s genius shines through.

In Men at Arms, the plot was based on what we’d been expecting: Carrot Ironfoundersson discovered as the true king of Ankh-Morpork. We were not expecting the mentally disturbed Edward d’Eath to try to restore his throne. As believable as any fantasy plot, interesting and tense in randomly overlapping ways, uniquely and blatantly unoriginal, Pratchett’s usual admirable plot had the subtlest plot twists and most mundane climaxes imaginable. We award a red star.
We were confronted with Pratchett’s usual risible cast, including several new recruits who served as a front to the ongoing dwarf-troll feud. Especially for a sequel, we thought there to be a good balance between interesting new characters and the development of old characters. However, we were unpleasantly surprised by the direction Carrot’s character took. While certainly interesting, we were disappointed by his loss of innocence and confused by Pratchett’s attempt to ‘have it both ways’. In typical Terry Pratchett style, an assortment of recurring minor characters showed up, including Lord Vetinari and Gaspode. We award a full star.
Men at Arms was set in Ankh-Morpork, so there was little opportunity for geographical worldbuilding, but as always, footnotes provided mini history lessons (among other things). Although the focus was mostly on the plot, we did learn a fair amount about gargoyles. We award a full star.
We admit that it is difficult to judge the pace of the book. Terry Pratchett has his own pace, and either one likes it or one does not. His normal plot rate, descriptions, action, and dialogue balance were present. We award a full star.
Dialogue, again, was traditionally Pratchett-y. Carrot got a bit more than his fair share of the talking, we felt, but it is hard to disapprove of any aspect of Pratchett’s dialogue except to point out the inappropriate uses of his genius. We award a full star.
The beginning was most intriguing, but the ending a little overwhelming as Pratchett tied up his loose ends. We were dissatisfied with the ending in part, but in most respects it was reasonable, although the resemblance to the first book’s ending was a little over the top. We award a full star.
Unfortunately, we did not enjoy this book as much as others of Pratchett’s. The writing was good, but not enough to cover events we’d rather not read about. Murder was an ubiquitous theme, the main romance made us uncomfortable, and far too much time was spent on the Fools’ Guild. We award no star.
Even more unfortunately, Men at Arms was quite indecorous. In addition to Pratchett’s ordinary levels of bad language and insinuations, there were several instances where immoralities were more heavily implied, with no saving rebuke or apology. We award no star.
We thought the message of the book, while polyvalent, was fair. It was consistent with the characters and plot, and made a good point. We award a full star.
Spiders were not mentioned; we award no star.
Although Terry Pratchett is truly funny, we hesitate to award him a full star for this final category because of his improprieties in the name of humor. Still, we cannot forget the footnotes. We award a half star.

In conclusion, Terry Pratchett’s Men at Arms earned 7 + 1/2 stars, putting it in the ‘Radiant’ category.
–  𝒯𝑒𝓂

Megan Whalen Turner’s first book, The Thief, was brilliant, and the rest of her series, while somewhat different, was equally tantalizing. The character development and plot twists were humorous and awe-inspiring, and the sense of anticipation rose steadily as we awaited her final book, Return of the Thief.
We expected a lot.
We didn’t get it.

The plot has always been Turner’s strong point, but it seems she was a little out of her depth for the necessarily most plot-based book in the series. The plot twists she is so well known for were in this case not as big as we would have liked and sometimes difficult to follow. The climaxes were awkwardly spaced, with several random ones thrown in too close to major climaxes and not supporting them. We award a half star.
The characters, another area of expertise for Turner, were disappointing. Although Turner had previously suggested that her final book would be from Gen’s perspective, this was not the case, and the introduction of Pheris, the new main character, was in our opinion a mistake, although he was believable. There was little or no development of the other main characters, with the exception of Gen, who seemed to have abruptly changed not only his goals but his empathetic and compassionate nature, apparently partially becoming the god Eugenides, with much of the power and none of the mercy. He came close to losing the endearing faults we love, and his lust for revenge was distressing. We award a half star.
The worldbuilding was consistent with Turner’s usual Greek-based style, with no contradictions, but it was confusing in that many places were added without warning in unnecessary scenes dealing with strategy. We award a full star.
The pace was good, with a tasteful balance of dialogue, description, and action, reminding us of Turner’s first book. We award a full star.
The dialogue was nearly as good as usual, but had less importance than in other books, and was not so witty as we might like. We award a full star.
The beginning was disappointing, without mention of old characters or even scenes in which we could begin to care about the new character. It was not immediately obvious that the book began somewhat before the ending of the previous novel, Thick as Thieves. The ending did not grant us hope or relief, instead leaving us wondering at the main characters’ cheerfulness after the deaths of so many of their friends and relatives (their reason for joy seemed contrived as well). Refusing us the satisfying gleefulness we’d come to expect, the book finished in a flourish of sentimental wordiness. There was also a large time skip, obviously necessary, but unwieldy in the final chapters. We award no star.
We were afforded a few moments of interest and pleasure, due to Turner’s inherent skill, but we would not read the book again. Turner’s usual editing was not apparent, and the overall bad writing frankly appalled us. Old problems that had been satisfyingly (and lightly, and interestingly) resolved were dredged up and examined again, now stale and rotting. We award no star.
One of the worst parts of the book was some quite obvious immorality, largely shown in one scene, that was not-so-subtly condoned in several randomly inserted sentences that neither furthered the plot nor came to fruition. There were also several mild insinuations. However, there was comparatively little vulgar humor and bad language. We award a half star.
While this book was memorable in parts, it was not at all consistent with the rest of the series, truth did not play a part in it, and the depth was, ironically, superficial. Additionally, the tone of the book was dark and depressing. We award no star.
There was no mention of spiders in the book. (Admittedly, this is not of the highest importance when judging good writing, but. . . we are spiders, after all.) We award no star.
There were some interesting moments of tension, especially where a major character gave an aside in a breathless pause, and the elephants were enjoyable, but the book was mostly dark, and the comic relief forced. We award a half star.

In conclusion, Megan Whalen Turner’s Return of the Thief earned 4½ + ½ stars, putting it in the ‘Terrific’ category.
-𝒜𝓇𝒶𝓃𝑒𝒶

Greetings and salutations!
In ‘Spiders Review’, spiders Eebie, Aranea, and Tem review fictional works – mostly fantasy – with a 10-star scale. A book can receive no stars, a half-star, a full star, or, occasionally, a red star, for each category.

Categories:
Plot is decided based on believability, interest and tension, originality, plot twists, and climaxes.
Characters is decided based on relatability, interest and tension, originality, distinct goals, backstories, and satisfaction (whether or not the character fills his role).
Worldbuilding is decided based on consistency, feel, inhabitants, interest, originality, customs, language, and details.
Pace refers to the rate at which the plot moves, including too much or too little dialogue, description, or action.
Dialogue is decided based on consistency, interest and tension, reflected character, and mood or feel.
Beginning and Ending is decided based on originality, the hook, character and world introductions and closures, interest, and satisfaction (whether or not the ending was ‘perfect’).
Pleasure refers to the common feeling that one ‘cannot put the book down’, as well as to good writing and enjoyment. This is decided based on whether or not one would wish to read the book again many times.
Wholesome is decided based on whether or not the book is free from vulgar humor, coarse references, bad language, and blatant immoralities. (Instances where this behavior is not condoned are taken into consideration.)
Message refers to the underlying intent of the book. How memorable it is, truth, consistency, and depth are factors in the decision.
Spiders is awarded if the book contains any mention of a spider or spiders. A half-star can be won by the mention of spider webs or by the use of spiders in metaphors, similes, etc.
Humor can also be awarded if applicable.

The reviewing spider discusses each category briefly, giving reasons for each star and half-star. If the book does exceptionally well in a category, it may be awarded a red star in place of a full star.
At the end of each review, the conclusion will be given in numerical format, e.g., ‘6½+1’, meaning that the total number of full stars and half-stars was 6½, with a full star for the optional Humor category. Red stars act as full stars in the conclusion.

Finally, the book is given an overall rating based on the number of stars.
For books with ≤ 2 stars, the rating is ‘Some Book’.
For books with 2½ – 5 stars, the rating is ‘Terrific’.
For books with 5½ – 8 stars, the rating is ‘Radiant’.
For books with 8½ – 10 stars, the rating is ‘Humble’.
If a book receives 11 stars or 10 with one or more red stars, the special ‘Web’ rating is given.

Happy reading!
-𝐸𝑒𝒷𝒾𝑒, 𝒜𝓇𝒶𝓃𝑒𝒶, and 𝒯𝑒𝓂